5. Strategies for Talking about Disability

Without realizing it, many of us have grown up being discouraged from talking about disability. Often, parents and teachers have not had the information or the vocabulary to talk about disabilities, and this lack of information may have taught many teens and pre-teens that asking questions about people with disabilities was not okay. You may still be receiving messages from the world that disability is not something we discuss.

In this video, we’ll talk through ways that adults can have meaningful conversations with learners about disability. This includes meaningful disability representation, approaching conversations in a positive and meaningful way, and inviting family members or the learner to share. We’ll also see examples throughout. Let’s get started.

Imagine the following scenarios:
Today, Ellie asked your science teacher why Isabella, a student with Down Syndrome, gets to have her iPad during class when everyone else has to turn off their phones.
In another, at the grocery store, Jeff pointed at the man behind the cash register with a prosthetic arm. He said, “Hey, it’s Iron Man!” Jeff’s mom told him to be quiet and apologized to the man who was ringing them up.

What do we do in these situations? How can we respond to children’s questions in a way that helps them understand that disability is part of being human?

As we work to create inclusive environments, we have to be comfortable talking about disabilities with learners. Disability is a natural aspect of human diversity. We celebrate and affirm that this is central to the human experience, and approximately 20% of people in the United States identify as having a disability. This is often an important part of their identity and may impact how they experience the world.

In programs or settings where adults talk about and celebrate disability, learners with disabilities feel a greater sense of belonging, representation, and confidence, and the individuals without disabilities in those settings learn acceptance, understanding, and how to be a friend to their peers.

So we know it’s important to talk about disability, but it’s not always clear where we should start. The good news is that people with disabilities are increasingly represented in books and mainstream media. There are characters with disabilities in TV shows such as Atypical, Glee, and Speechless, and increasingly more characters in books with different types of disabilities. Hopefully, the participants in your program have already come across disability in a range of ways. We also have a list of these resources in our accompanying materials.

Representation is a critical component of inclusive programs. Your program materials and spaces should represent the people participating in your program, including people with disabilities. Things like books, artwork, posters, and other materials should represent people with disabilities so you can ensure that teens, pre-teens, and families see themselves in your space. It’s important for images and portrayals of people with disabilities in everyday situations like the supermarket, and in extraordinary situations like winning a gold medal in the Paralympics.

When having conversations with learners about disability, start by approaching these conversations in a positive and encouraging way. While it’s common to feel slightly uncomfortable if a participant without a disability asks you about a peer who has a disability, honor the question and respond positively and directly. By doing this, you’re letting them know it’s okay to be curious about their world and the people around them.

Some programs ask the families of, and/or the participants with, disabilities themselves for information about their disability so that they can answer their peers’ questions accurately and honestly. As teens and pre-teens, the participants may be able to answer these questions by themselves. Many adults with disabilities report feeling empowered when they have opportunities to answer questions about their own disability status rather than deal with stares from people in the community.

Remember, disability is not only about what you cannot do; it’s about areas of strength as well as areas in which a student may need support.

Now let’s return to Ellie’s question about Isabella using her iPad in science class. You can respond that Isabella uses the iPad to communicate. She has it with her during class so that she can ask questions and share her ideas. To extend this conversation, you could encourage Ellie to ask Isabella about her iPad, intentionally select class materials that feature AAC (augmentative and alternative communication) users, or invite Isabella to talk to the class about how she uses her iPad.

Let’s look at a few more examples. Imagine you’re leading a summer camp and a camper named Khed is flapping his hands and pacing back and forth during outside time. Jay, another camper, asks, “Why is that kid doing that?” A good response would be, “Great question! Some people move their bodies in a certain way because it helps them feel calm and happy.”

Or perhaps Leonard, a new child with autism, joins your classroom and likes to wear headphones in noisy places. During partner work, a peer asks, “Why does he have those headphones? What’s wrong with him?” In this case, we should emphasize that absolutely nothing is wrong with Leonard, and he prefers to wear headphones so things don’t seem so loud. “Have you ever been somewhere that was super loud and you had to cover your ears, like a music concert or a football game? Headphones are a great way to make things seem less noisy.”

While working with his science partner, Leonard repeats his favorite lines from Star Wars over and over instead of discussing the assignment. Noel, Leonard’s partner, tries to keep him focused on the classwork, but he continues talking about Star Wars and ignores her. The teacher explains to Noel that Leonard really loves Star Wars and sometimes needs help to talk about other topics. The teacher gets out some visuals to help Leonard respond to Noel’s questions and to stay on topic while they work on the assignment.

Parents and family members are also great resources to help lead conversations about disabilities. They may have books or other sources of information you can share with participants in your program. You might also ask the learner with the disability if they’re comfortable sharing their experiences with their peers, helping everyone see things we all have in common. Of course, it’s important to make sure the learner is comfortable with us talking about their disability before we have any conversations with other participants in our class or program, like in Leonard’s example.

Of course, some learners will be very comfortable talking about their own disabilities, while others would be very uncomfortable doing so. It’s always important to ask about individual preferences in an open and positive way.

As we build inclusive communities, we have the important opportunity to normalize disability and emphasize that this is part of the human experience. Be honest, answer questions directly, emphasize similarities between learners with and without disabilities, and always look for ways to represent people with disabilities in your program. If you do not know the answer to a question, don’t be afraid to say so and find out.

So what could this look like for you? How will you encourage and promote conversations about disability? How can you anticipate participants’ questions and encourage them to be understanding of their peers? And most importantly, how can you help learners understand that disability is not something we shouldn’t talk about or wonder about, but rather just another part of the human experience?